God’s Radical Model of Forgiveness

 The Biblical concept of God’s forgiveness highlights God’s readiness to love and welcome sinners: “while we still were sinners Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8) regardless of a person’s attitude to God or their sin[s].

The love taught in Biblical Christianity is radical indeed. Forgiving the perpetrator of a serious crime against us is humanly irrational, and seemingly impossible. But we need to hear what Jesus actually says about this. It’s radical. 

 Jesus told the story of a father and his two sons to illustrate God’s attitude towards sinners an attitude we are to imitate. [Luke 15] One of this father’s sons asks his dad to give him the money he’d get when his dad died. The father agrees and gives him his financial share of the estate. 

 This son leaves and goes to live in another country. Slowly stories begin to drift back home about his life-style and wasting money on prostitutes [Lk 15:30]. Imagine how the dad felt. The son was an embarrassment, brought shame on the family, was living an immoral life.

Now if you were that dad and this kid suddenly knocks on your door – how would you respond? Slam the door in his face? Shoot him? Yell at him and tell him what a looser he was?

Amazingly, when this kid shows up on the horizon the dad bounds out of his chair and runs as fast as he could down the road to meet this wayward son. As they meet he throws his arms around him. Weeps. The son shouts “Dad I’ve sinned against you and against God. I’m not worthy to be called your son anymore. Please hire me as one of your servants.”

The dad says: “No, way son.” Turning to the servants he commands them to bring the boy new clothes, shoes, a ring and go kill a goat and let’s have a BBQ.”

Jesus is saying to us this is God’s continuous attitude towards us sinners. An attitude of forgiveness. The son would never have received his dad’s forgiveness unless he’d returned. But the offer was always there.

Jesus says his disciples must love his or her enemy:

“You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others?  even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matt 5:43-48)

Note that Jesus commands people to love their enemies not because it is fair to do so, but so that they “may be children of [their] Father in heaven.” Loving enemies grows out of who we are and whose we are as Christians, rather than out of who our enemies are or what they do or do not deserve.  The same idea is paralleled in Luke 6:35 as well.

God, via the pen of the Apostle Paul tells us that only he, God, is authorized to carry out retribution for evil:

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. (Rom 12:14)

Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." No, "if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Rom 12:17-21)

God, through the pen of Apostle Peter says much the same thing: Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse; but, on the contrary, repay with a blessing.  It is for this that you were called--that you might inherit a blessing. (1 Pet 3:9)

Biblical authors make a connection between the receiving of forgiveness from God and the extending of forgiveness to persons. In the Lord’s Prayer as recorded in Matthew 6, Jesus teaches the disciples to pray “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Mt 6:12).  

Jesus removes any ambiguity from the nature of the connection between receiving and extending forgiveness by adding: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Mt 6:14-15) 

Also in Matthew’s Gospel is the parable of the unforgiving servant, who was forgiven of a huge debt he could not pay, but who did not forgive a fellow-servant of a small debt.  Jesus sums up the parable in much the same way as he clarified the Lord’s Prayer:

“Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?” And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart. (Mt 18:33-35)

The same connection is also made by Jesus in Mark 11:25 and Luke 6:36-37, and by Paul in Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:13. In every case, except one, the commands to forgive address only the duty of the forgiver, not the one needing forgiveness. Therefore, we cannot draw any conclusions about what is the responsibility of the offender -- the text is not addressing that issue. The texts give the picture of an unconditional gift of forgiveness.

Can I forgive those who have betrayed me if they are not repentant?

Waiting for someone to repent/say sorry/acknowledge the wrong they have done before we will forgive them, we will almost certainly wait for a long, long time. We also give ourselves a justification to stay bitter the rest of our lives.

One of Jesus' main teachings was that we love our enemies, pray for them, and do good to those who have hurt us. It is curious how some of us read the Gospels over and again and miss this. We may get the theology, but not the graciousness that Jesus taught and exemplified.

How much repentance do you suppose there was at the Cross while Jesus hung there? There was not only an utter absence of repentance, but also total contempt. Jesus' reply: "Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).

Had Jesus adopted the position that he should wait until they repent, he would have shown himself to be as lost as those for whom he was dying. Furthermore, he did not shout at them, "I forgive you." He prayed, Father you forgive them.

One victim was told “you must totally forgive them; unless you totally forgive them, you will be in chains." He recalls “I never went to them and told them I forgave them (this would have insulted them). It happened in my heart. Once you forgive in your heart, it ceases to be an issue whether they repent or not. The blessing I got personally from this has been incalculable.” Jesus says we are to forgive from the heart. This addresses our emotions, how we feel towards a person who has sinned against us.

When Jesus asked his disciples to love each other as he loved them (John 13:34), he knew Peter would deny him, then added to all of them: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me" (John 14:1). Many of us forget that he was still talking to the ones he knew would desert him in a few hours.

When he showed up after his resurrection behind their closed doors, he did not say to them, "How could you do this to me?" He merely said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you" (John 20:21). He affirmed them as if nothing had happened; he let them save face.

"How are you able to forgive your son?" The answer: because God has forgiven you. Are you perfect? If you say, "I haven't done what he did," True, but you have done other things that in God's sight are likely to be just as grievous.

Not only that; if you are a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit is love (Gal. 5:22). You therefore can do it.