Preparation for a Wedding

So you're getting married! Love is an exercise in frustration. You leave the window up when you want it down. You watch someone else's favourite TV program. You kiss when you have a headache. You turn the music down when you like it loud. You learn to be patient without sighing or sulking.

Love is doing things for the other person. In marriage two become one. But the one isn't you. It's the other person. You love this person more than you love yourself.

This means that you love this person as she or he is. We should ask ourselves frankly what that impulse is that makes us want to redesign a person. It isn't love. We want the other person to be normal, like us! But is that loving the other person or loving ourselves?

Love brings out the best in people. They can be themselves without artificiality. People who know they're loved glow with beauty and charm. Let this person talk. Create the assurance that any idea, any suggestion, any feeling can be expressed and will be respected.

Allow the other person to star once in a while. A wife's joke doesn't have to be topped. Don't correct your husband in the middle of his story.

Cultivate kind ways of speaking. It can be as simple as asking them instead of telling them to do things.

Don't take yourself too seriously. Married life is full of crazy mirrors to see ourselves - how stubborn, how immature we really are. You may be waiting for your wife to finish because you never lifted a finger to help her.

Love is funny. Its growth doesn't depend on what someone does for you. It's in proportion to what you do for him or her.

This list is not meant to be exhaustive nor is it expected that every item will be relevant. This is merely a list to prompt thought so that you as a couple can be well prepared ahead of time to enjoy the special day. The more preparation that can be done early will mean less stress closer to the day.

These to need to be coordinated early:

  • In Australia notice of intended marriage legal form must be signed up to 32 days before wedding day
  • Date of wedding
  • Minister/Celebrant booked
  • Calligraphy for marriage certificate that is kept (not entirely necessary but not something that can be easily done at the last minute)
  • Pre-Marriage counselling
  • Bridesmaids
  • Best man and groomsmen
  • Brides dress and bridesmaids dresses
  • Hire suits for groom and groomsmen?
  • Rings – Bride and Groom
  • WeddingTable for gifts – Security? Beware that some people give cash or vouchers (which are like cash) and they are very easy to pick up and slide into a pocket.
  • Are the gifts to be opened at the wedding – who?
  • Who will receive the gifts

Venue for wedding - Ensure there is clear understanding as to

    1. Who will open and what time
    2. Who will lock up
    3. Expectations of cleaning
    4. Cost
    5. Ushers
    6. Book venue for rehearsal

  • If outdoor (sound does not travel well outdoors –hence the need for sound gear – ok if a very small group)
  • Check with council or local authority if you can use the park
  • Is power available at the outdoor site?
  • Are there toilets?
  • Check where sun will be for shade
  • If it has been raining is it still suitable?
  • Seating as required for some/all guests
  • Supply a table, cloth, chair, pen, to sign wedding certificate etc
  • Check for animal and bird droppings under trees?
  • You will need umbrellas if it is raining
  • Bottled water if hot
  • Sound equipment
  • Sound operator
  • Back-up for outdoor wedding (if it rains etc) 
  • Program-with names of bridal party, any other participants, readings? songs?
  • Cars, Car drivers
  • Ribbons and tulle for cars
  • Emergency sewing kit e.g. buttons or small tear etc.
  • Flowers for: Bride, Bridesmaids, Button hole flowers for Groom and Groomsmen, Flowers for parents
  • Reception – if flowers from wedding are going to be used at reception who is going be responsible to transport them?
  • Pew/Chair decorations – placement and removal
  • Gifts for people who have helped out through the day
  • Who will return hired suits?
  • Honeymoon - where? how long? budget?
  • Photographer
  • DVD/Video recording
  • Wedding rehearsal - what time?
  • Music - pre-recorded to be played?
  • Musicians and selection of music – the earlier the better
  • Is there to be a Vocalist ?– book the person(s) early
  • Venue for Reception 
  • Is sound gear supplied
  • Sound operator
  • Back ground music
  • Seating allocation - who sits where?
  • Live music
  • MC for reception - make sure MC knows what is expected of him/her
  • Running sheet including events and timing – most venues have a time limit, going over time limit can incur hefty costs.
  • Who is to give speeches/Grace
  • Be specific as to who
  • Give firm guidelines on speeches as to what is expected and what is not eg. Length and idea of content – do not assume a person asked will know these things? (speeches to honour the person(s)

1 Corinthians 13:1-7

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.

If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered. Love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do.

Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails.

Ephesians 3:16-19

“I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources God will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him.

Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.

May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

Dr Keith Graham

To down load the above as a free Wedding Brochure as a Word document click on the link below

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